I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
