You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
