Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I think a kid would responsible me up
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
