hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I need to calm my uterus...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
