He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
