If that was your dad, he is hot
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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