what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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