But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
