Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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