there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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