Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
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