the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Ketchup is God's man juice
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize