it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
