How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
we're making bets on your personal life
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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