I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I touched a dick in church today
You ate ashes out of my bong
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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