So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
