i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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