You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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