i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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