no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
