I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
