is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
