I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I CAN MOONWALK!
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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