Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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