Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
