Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
