i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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