I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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