Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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