I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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