took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize