Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
