What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
