That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
