Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
