The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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