elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
