the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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