whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
