My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We got so high we made milksteak
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm gonna fight the coyote
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
