Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
