i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
