does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
