he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
