Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
