I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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