you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize