i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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