I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
This is my gift to your gina
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
