So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize