i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
