My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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