You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
