Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
