You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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