You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize