Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
