I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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