She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
