You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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