yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Best friends brother. Beat that.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
