This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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