So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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