So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
