this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
