3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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