In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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