I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize