I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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