so explain again why im purple
no
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
